Helicopter Wife!

I did move Bob back home after 9 days. I think the memory care facility was inattentive, understaffed, and uncommunicative. They probably think I was a worrisome helicopter wife–hovering over my guy!!


I don’t know if my expectations for his care were too high, but I felt the assurances given about the level of care Bob would receive were not met and that I could take better care of him at home. I could give lots of examples on their lack of care but trust me, Bob wasn’t getting top notch attention by any means.


I packed up his little bedroom into laundry baskets and black plastic bags and home he came. The first few days at home were some of the worst days we’ve ever had. Change is hard for folks with dementia and the bouncing to the facility and back again must have thrown him into a bit of a chaos. I questioned my decision to bring Bob home repeatedly. Questioning my decisions seems to be a common occurrence.


But now that Bob’s been home for nearly 2 weeks, I realize that it was the right decision. It’s hard to be responsible for him 24/7 but I think it’s easier than worrying 24/7! Now if I could just get him to sleep at night instead of the day.


Even though I still feel that he’ll need the care provided by an assisted living/memory care facility, it will need to be “the right place”. So, Bob continues to be on the waiting list for that place and I will do my best to take care of him in our home until there’s a room available for him. Waiting on God’s perfect timing. Patiently.


Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

4 thoughts on “Helicopter Wife!

    1. Hi Susan, we’re currently trying to place my dad and are having a hard time finding the right memory care facility. We have the same concerns as you as far as individual care and attention. We live in La Mesa and have found several potential option, so we were curious about where you had the disappointing experience. Would you be open to sharing the name of it privately? Any information that makes this process less chaotic, the better. Thanks so much for this page. We find so many of your stories familiar and make us feel less crazy and alone! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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