When I first started wring my blog about Bob with 1 o, it was a way to share our experiences with this disease and also share some of the humor, love, and joy we have in our lives. In the past few days, I’ve wanted to write and update all of you, but I can’t find any humor in the situation. So here goes anyway. I hope you feel the love and the joy.
Bob’s disease has progressed to a point where he is sleeping 18-20 hours a day. He is either in his bed or in his recliner. The only walking he does is when I assist him and get him from one place to another. Occasionally, he doesn’t even walk that short distance and I roll him on his walker.
Dementia really has taken a toll on him. But then something new came along to make matters worse, his kidney function greatly declined. He became dehydrated and that threw his one functioning kidney into severe chronic kidney disease. That threw him into even more fatigue and confusion. So, after a couple of days in the ER getting tested in all ways, they determined there was no infection and no other issue with the kidney. Bob was dehydrated and nutritionally anemic. So, he they hydrated him and then he was released with orders to drink more fluids and eat better. That’s a tall order for someone with dementia who has no appetite or ability to understand that he NEEDS to eat and drink.
They also did swallow tests on Bob and put him on a soft food diet. They are concerned he could aspirate food into his lungs. They also had to sedate him and have a “sitter” in the room with him as he was extremely confused and agitated during his hospital stay. A few medications were changed, and he was taken off his Pradaxa (blood thinner) as he is a fall risk. The doctor in the ER talked with me candidly about Palliative Care and Hospice Care. More difficult matters to ponder.
I have had Bob on a waiting list at a Memory Care Facility in Alpine since August. It’s a small popular highly recognized facility and there aren’t openings often. But on November 1st, prayers were answered. There is a room available, and BOB IS MOVING IN THERE TODAY. He’s sleeping right now as we’re awaiting the medical transport van to arrive. I’m writing instead of pacing…
On top of that blessing, the Hospice process was started. They jumped through hoops to get Bob evaluated, approved, and signed up. So, Bob will not only be getting great care from the staff of the Alpine View Lodge, but he will also have the extra layer of care from the Hospice nurse, health aide, social worker, and chaplain. Blessings upon blessings are coming our way.
Had Bob not had the decline in his overall health and the ER experience, I might have felt that I could take care of him at home with some intermittent help. But God, in all His wisdom, wanted to clearly show me that Bob needs more care than I can provide. I’m convinced now that Bob needs to live in the care facility and I’m confident in that decision. That doesn’t make it any easier. I’m still going to have that little voice in my ear questioning my choice, but the voice will be softer and easier to ignore!!
And to all our family and friends that have lent a listening ear and a caring heart—GOD BLESS YOU!!
And to myself, it’s ok to be sad after making the right decision.
PS: Bob slept the day away in his new room while I moved in his clothes, personal items, TV, and a few pictures. It was hard to walk out of his room and go home tonight but I know that he will get the care he needs there 24/7. And I’m looking forward to a great night’s sleep. Tomorrow I will meet his hospice nurse and the hospice chaplain. And I get to be a wife visiting my husband and I don’t have to be his caregiver. Now that’s LOVE AND JOY!
7 thoughts on “Nothing To Laugh About!”
Susan God Bless you and your sweet
Caring heart. God has guided you each step of this journey and will continue to do so. Prayers for both you and Bob.
I am sending you my love and biggest hug . 🙏🏻✝️🥰
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I can only imagine what you are going thru, as I care for mom.
Mom has blamed me for stealing $40 she misplaced and we found. She was very upset that someone came into her house and moved her greeting cards to Dad’s desk – so disrespectful of them! She more easily gets angry with me for making decisions for her. She admitted her mom used to say she was head-strong…it feels like many things weekly that I have to deal with. Most of the time I just agree and go with it, until she wants something NOW and I can’t produce it. False memories. Perseveration. Worrying, blaming, forgetting. Unaware of time, eventhough I got her a clock that says date, day, if it’s morning afternoon evening or night! It’s all hard to deal with!
So know that, this we are where you were, you are not alone and are handling is splendidly, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Hugs to you!!
Oh my sweet friend….I know your heart must feel confusion and yet relief, happy yet sad, questionable yet extremely certain. But one thing to please remember…you are an amazing and beautifully loving wife to Bob. I am praying for both of you🙏🏻 and my heart is filled with so much love for you, Kyle and your family♥️ I am a phone call away, please don’t ever hesitate to call me✨💛 Big hugs…ALWAYS! -Jamie
I love you and your choice. I am sure God was gently nudging you. Let’s have dinner or lunch sometime. I will continue to pray for you and Bob.
Love, Cheryl Eubanks
My heart is with you Susan.
I am reading your blog with tears in my eyes and thanking our Lord for providing all things good for you and Bob. Bob is so blessed to have a loving wife such as you.
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Know in your heart it is the right time. I lived it with my mother. Hugs and prayers to you.
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